The paradox of our time

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin

A shared experience and more

First of all, thank you so much for those who provided their support and understanding! I was very touched! It definitely makes a world of a difference and all of a sudden the solitude is more bearable when your experience is shared and understood by others.

This episode made me realized how homesick I was and I jumped on buying one of the airfare deals that Air Canada had. I miss tremendously the familiar and my friends. Even if it is for few days, I 'm very excited to go back home for a short while....

It is amazing how many emotions, challenges, questions and discomfort acculturation can bring up! Even after the 3rd acculturation process, I am still struggling to peacefully dive into the unknown ... Imagine how much those who are not white, bilingual, well educated, may struggle! It is definitely a reminder of how much hardship refugees are faced with when they find refuge to our countries. It helps to put into perspective my own reality...

Back to darkness...

How long will this loneliness last? It feels so painful at times….
I know it is a matter of time and adjustment but it is so hard at times to be patient.

Am I doomed to always feel this way? Feeling overwhelmed with adjustment, then adjusting to finally being bored, wanting something new, getting it and moving on, and the cycle starts again. I guess the only other time it happened before was when I left France in 1998 for love and stayed in Seattle even after my marriage collapsed. I tried for several years to make it work on a personal and professional level. After a while, after many attempts of feeling not fulfilled I decided to take a leap of faith and shifted my life journey for a new start. I left a place where I was settled and tried the adventure of a PhD program in a new country. Was it a crazy idea? Will I be able to succeed? Gosh! I feels like it will be too much to overcome on my own… I guess it’s only now that I understand why so many people said how courageous I was…

Is it because it’s winter? Is it a mix of my living and seasonal conditions along with the acculturation process that make me feel this way? I miss seeing people on a daily basis. I miss being a social worker, a therapist, having an active life. I miss organizing parties at my old apartments and act goofy with my friends ...

There are so many new things to figure out when you are a foreigner before life feels finally stable again. I know I cannot figure out everything at once. I know I can’t get to know a new city, be comfortable as a PhD student, build a new social network, make a descent living and deal with the in between cultures and languages in 5 months. I know I can’t but I so would love too!

I know how privileged I am and that I should not complain. I am white, well educated, bilingual, I have more chances than most to make it work despite the immigration process. I feel ashamed to even feel this way but the feeling are real and overwhelming …

I guess, I’m simply feeling depressed and it will finally go away soon…. Hopefully, in a few months I will be laughing at what I just wrote and will no longer want to run back to Seattle …

From darknesss to light

So 2008 started with the plan to moving to a new place! I was not looking to move until spring or summer but I had this great opportunity that presented itself and I could not turn it down! It's allowing me to leave my basement and move to a top floor apartment! Great location, a very good deal, and especially I can finally see the light!! I can't wait to move in because my moods have not been great since I came back from France... ;( I'm still waiting for the credit check to clear before I get the green light to move in, so I hope it all works out! I'm also very excited to move into this new place because I will have much more space to host more comfortably. So guys get in line!!

Besides the moving news, which will happen towards the end of February, school started again with social policy and research methodology classes. I'm also awaiting impatiently to see my thesis advisor in order to move forward with my thesis and employment situation but she has not been available so far. Things will be much more stable once I talk to her and clarify our collaboration, which will determine how well the rest of the year will unfold. This situation is definitely impacting my moral and my ability to continue adjusting to my new life in Montreal.

I also think that my moral has been impacted by a change of pace. I went from spending over 2 weeks in France being very busy every day, seeing friends and family, to returning to my basement with a much slower pace, a limited social network and an unclear situation with my thesis advisor.

Furthermore, my experience with guys here in Montreal has not been the most positive so I'm going to hold off for a while and stay away from them until my life with my doctorat program is more stable and that I am more adjusted with this new life!

So many learning experiences in the last 5 months! I forgot what it meant to move to a new country! Amazing learning experiences but it always go with some major soul searching and questioning about one's self! I think it's finally time for me to stay in one place! However, it's a bit soon to tell if Montreal is the place...

Carole's latest and to a new fantastic year!

Here is finally some updates on my blog! I need to preface that the quality of my English has worsen since I am slowly re-appropriating my French language. Apparently, I can't be fluent with both languages at the same time ;(

The last month of 2007:
December has been pretty hectic between finals, wondering if I should change university and spending the holidays in France. My Christmas break did not start well since I missed my flight to Paris due to a snow storm. I was finally being able to make it to Paris one day later at no cost, thank you Air Canada! However, I still had to wait 9 hours at the airport ;)


The holidays in France went well. The trip was rich in so many ways, spending quality time with friends and family. I caught up with many friends, some I had not seen in 15 and 8 years, Fred and Karine!


























I also went to Marseille (south of France) where I visited relatives that I had not seen for quite some time. The weather there was beautiful which felt wonderful to my skin and soul!





































Paris was also the meeting place with some dear American friends that I had not seen for quite a while and are living across the globe: Andy (South Africa), Stephanie (London) and Denise (Miami).

























School:
In terms of school, I submitted my application to McGill and will find out soon if I am accepted or not. However, after consulting with several people it seems that having a good research adviser is more important than being in a prestigious university so after all the drama and saga I may stay at UdM and take my courses at McGill.

Love:
Well, not much luck so far and it is actually better this way since I need to stay focus with my school work ;)


New year:

It will be a fantastic year! My warmest wishes to you all for this new year filled with health, love, joy and laughters !

Montreal sous la neige/Snowing in Montreal

Finally, it's snowing in Montreal! I'm glad I was able to get on time what I needed for the cold weather!

Nothing too exciting in the last month since my last posting: working, studying, hanging out with the new friends I made here. The one big thing was this workshop I attended last week that was quite a fascinating experience. It was on cultural psychotherapy and it is called psychohistorigraphy. The theme was on reasonable accomodations, which has been a very delicate/hot topic here in Québec because of the large amount of immigrants that need to be accomodated due to their cultural and religious background. It was a 2 day intense human experience with a group of 36 people where we expresssed our feelings, thoughts, experience into songs, poem, playback and scenette. Then, few days later we had a performance followed by a discussion with the audience, which was quite heated because the white québéquois did not feel represented in our performance. Through this workshop, where I did not know anybody when I first joined, I have met wonderful people and especially made some connection with folks who work for the department of transcultural psychiatry, which is one of the main reasons I moved to Montreal.

One more month before the end of the quarter, which means lots of studying of course and wrapping up my first quarter as a student again! Then, I fly to Paris where I will spend the hollidays and visit my family, French friends as well as some American friends who will be de passage in Paris as well. I' m looking forward to have a break and hang out with people I know well. I guess I need to be surrounded with people I know well to have that home feeling .... I guess I need a break from newness for a little while... ;)

Human connections and more acculturation ...

Last week and this weekend, I had the chance to catch up with some friends (Walter, Sylvio, Diane, Clay and Chris) back in Seattle and it was great to reconnect with them! I love having those deep conversations with you guys (Chris and Clay) !


I also had the chance to talk with the person who has been my mentor the longest in Seattle. As usual his advices and wisdom have really helped me to see more clearly and feeling better about what direction to take (transferring or not to a different University) as well as prioritizing my studies. He is the reason why I got a master in social work when I first arrived in Seattle in 98. He has been my boss, professor and mentor since 1998 and has been and continues to be an amazing support in my professional and academic life. His encouragements helped me to have faith in applying to a PhD program. I feel grateful to have such a wonderful connection with him! Thank you Jon!!


This shift in my life, doing a PhD in Montreal, is huge and sometimes I have this brief realization of how overwhelming it is ... I can only let myself be in that state for a brief moment otherwise sadness and anxiety may paralyze me and I could not accomplish the demands of my life as a student. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed and anxious when everything is so new, uncertain and when the ones who know you the best and believe in you are so far away. I guess it has been exactly 2 months since I arrived in Montreal and I'm hitting another phase of my acculturation process .... It will pass and I'll find the strength to move forward with a positive and strong attitude.