This week I have been wondering a lot about cultural differences between the American and the French. There are obviously major differences but sometimes there are not that easy to define and pinpoint. Some of the most important differences are in regards to the way people relate to one another, demonstrate their attachment to others and are present for the ones they care and love. Both societies are marked by individualism but it appears that the level of reciprocity is defined and perceived differently in both cultures. As usual, it is difficult to make any generalizations but it is an overall feeling deeply felt, which has caused me interrogation, frustration, disappointment and sadness. Based on my experience and the conversations I have had with other French we agree that generally generosity and reciprocity is a behavior that is more natural and not as calculated within the French culture. Also, it appears that we are more foreword and honest in verbalizing our feelings. I am sure that there are many more differences but I'll stop the list for now. Some of you, whoever will be reading this post, may say "Carole why don't you go back to France then!" Well, it's not as easy as it seems. I am now in a position de "l'entre deux" (in between cultures) and unfortunately I don't feel like I would feel comfortable again in the French culture. I have learned so much about life and myself during my time in the US and will continue here in Canada. It has been a rich experience but at times my expectations about human connection has not met the vision I would have hoped for. It is simply a sad and harsh reality to realize and it will force me to readjust my expectations. Or maybe I'm simply too sensitive and idealist .....
2 comments:
One issue I've always run into (whenever a cross-cultural exchange is happening) is an initial euphoria at interfacing with something different. But after a while the novelty fades and fatigue sets in because you constantly have to work at understanding the nuances of difference that exist under the surface.
It is very difficult to truly understand another human being, and that difficulty is magnified if the assumed cultural knowledge between the two differs. Having to always check out whether someone is joking, or not getting subtle (sometimes unspoken) queues makes for a constant strain.
Whenever I plan a vacation, especially to a foreign culture, I make sure to plan an extra two days at home before I have to go back to work... just to recover from the stress of trying to adapt to and understand my surroundings.
coucou Carole, c'est cynthia, la femme de ton p'tit cousin français: Fabien
j'ai vu ton blog dans les favoris de fabien et en lisant ton post du 30 septembre c'était comme si je l'avais écrit moi-même...
c'est difficile d'être 'entre les deux', on n'arrive plus à trouver le vrai 'chez moi'...
bisous,
cynthia
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